This might not be a topic for male readers—if I even have any, that is—but it might be interesting as a glimpse into the female brain. I know this won't apply to every woman, but it certainly does to me, and I certainly hope I'm not the only one. I think I've had rattling ovaries since I was about ²² , and every year they rattle a little louder. Now I'm 27, and I see friends, old classmates, and so on getting married and having children. It's wonderful to see, but then I always feel a slight pang of jealousy, because I'm not there yet, and my body has been asking for it for years. Honestly, I'm glad I didn't start it with my ex, but I feel so at home in my current relationship that the feeling has returned—because it was gone for a while when the previous relationship wasn't going so well—and it's stronger than ever. When I was 22, I didn't dare admit this because I was still studying, didn't have a car, didn't have a house, etc., and I was afraid people would find that strange and abnormal. Only now I have a stable relationship where I can be myself, a car, a good job with a steady income, a house, etc. Rationally, I still want to do so many things like go to festivals, take long, distant trips, etc., but my body and heart are increasingly demanding a baby. I dare to say it now, but I still don't share how strong that feeling actually is, afraid of other people's reactions. There are women who consciously choose not to have children because they believe their child would end up in a bad world—and they're entitled to that opinion (and perhaps they're right in a way), but I can't imagine ignoring that desire. But then again, maybe it's not as strong in everyone as it is in me.

The stronger that inner desire, the harder I find it to ignore it and deal with the fact that women around me are getting married and having children while I'm not quite there yet. (Maybe that's why I pour my heart and soul into those baby gifts and offer to babysit.) Yes, we have to take our time, and yes, my time will come, but the feeling is so strong that it almost hurts sometimes. I don't even have any good tips for dealing with it, because I'm finding it increasingly difficult myself. All I do is talk about it honestly with my partner, even though he doesn't fully understand, and sometimes with friends, but even that's not always something I dare to do. And I seek distraction in all the wonderful things I do now and try to focus on things I can still do now that I don't have to worry about children. As a result, I mother myself about everything I can, from someone else's pet to the plants in my house, and yes, sometimes even stuffed animals. I also pour all my motherly instincts into the volunteer work I do this summer, at a children's summer camp. I care for the kids as if they were my own for a week, even though that makes saying goodbye at the end of the week extra hard... but it's worth it! If you have any tips for me, please send me a message! All advice is welcome.